| Remember that old saying? It's referring to anything that sparks nostalgia, right? Gotta be, cuz this past Sunday we proved it true...TWICE! We've been huge fans of the X-Files since it's premiere back in '93. For nine years, episodes like Home (the Peacock's have a secret and it's nasty), Bad Blood (vampire pizza boy? C'mon!), and X Cops (self explanatory) thrilled, made us piss ourselves laughing and ultimately turned us into googly-eyed fanatics. So when this latest movie started showing up in previews, you can imagine our excitement. Um...bonerific.  Well. It's been a while since we've visited Mulder and Scullyland and our cherished memories drove us blindly running into the theater, past the throngs of picketers with their big anti-x-files warning signs (we'll call them reviewers). We weren't 10 minutes into the flick and we knew something was wrong. Something bad.It was the longest most mediocre episode ever. We might as well have been watching Annabeth Gish and Robert Patrick racing back and forth with no purpose for two hours. The carefully cultivated chemistry between Duchovny and Anderson was replaced with this mopey dialogue and frown-faced borefest. Dear God, we prayed. Doesn't someone have a mustard gas cannister? Say it with me: You Can't Go Home Again. It'd been too long. The magic was over. I felt the same way about the trio of new Star Wars movies. The new Indy. They felt tired. Old concepts forced to run the same rat maze. Blah. Blah. Anyway, moving on... It's no secret that I've got a fondness for things that go bump in the night, schlocky or otherwise. And there's nothing more schlocky than that old 80's standby, My Bloody Valentine. Not good enough to be memorable for anything other than the movie that spawned an awesome band, Valentine was, however, the first R-rated horror movie I was allowed to see without my parents.  It was the summer after the 6th grade and I don't know how we did it, but my good friend Kim and I did some soft shoe or a flim flam or something and talked my dad into taking us to the Tacoma West Cinema 3 (that's right, count 'em - 3) for an adult free evening of scares and gore. The night didn't end well, namely with me curled up on the floor at the foot of my parent's bed.So on Sunday night--after the tragedy of X-Files-- we tried to go home again, again. While grocery shopping at Walmart--cuz we're frugal (and not cheap fucks, as you may accuse)--Caroline spotted one of those cheesy double feature DVDs. April Fools Day (awesome, still holds up) and My Bloody Valentine. My Bloody Valentine. You know the one. Spurned miner takes his heartbreak out on the actual hearts of lusty semi-teens. Scary in the early 80s, maybe, but Christ it didn't hold up. Made me kinda sad. And then there's this...  Oh yeah. You're reading that right. 3D. No slam on Jensen Ackles (who stars) but seriously, is there any chance this February 2009 remake will be decent? What about y'all. Any "You Can't Go Home Again" moments? |
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Becky1
I'm scared of the forth coming remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still." Does that count?
Amen Becky. I wouldn't dare watch either again. They were so awesome in the 70s, but if I saw them today they'd be horrible, I'm certain.
The Bionic Woman remake doesn't count. Straight up betarded and not enough like the original to care.
Katie - I gotta say. I'm going to throw caution to the wind an run straight to the theater for DAY. Jennifer Connoly's in it and she's my Amanda. I loves me some Jennifer.
I'm waiting for a remake/relaunch of The Greatest American Hero... and then I want them to let me write for it!
I have simple needs....
Strout, that is genius.
Who do you picture replacing the blond 'fro dude?
Please don't tarnish those distant memories of Robert Culp giving poor Bill Katt hell. Well, maybe a little.
Y'know, they could have done a hell of a job with the BW but somehow the script writers must have wanted to create a show with plot holes big enough to fly a 747 through. Kind of like Birds Of Prey. That was like a hour-long kick in the balls.
Birds of Prey spun my head around in contrary to comic continuity circles.
And at least BW inspired Attack of the Shows parody the Lesbionic Woman.. we got to see Olivia Munn make out with another woman.
That was yum!
Knight Rider
Dukes of Hazzard
Bewitched
If those aren't bad enough check this out
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117989391.html?categoryid=13&cs=1
I'm waiting for remakes of John Hughes films. JCPenney already has an ad campaign that is a rip off of Breakfast Club. It's coming, people.
Dear God. Psych just had an homage to Breakfast Club episode, but it was awesome!
I can already see a Ferris Bueller remake with Cameron being gay, Ferris a porno perv, and Principal Rooney scores with Jean (Shaw-na).
Was so excited to see Pat Benatar in concert 2 years ago and it was like watching someone's mom try to rock out. Even her clothes screamed mom. Actually more like a Boca Raton senior what with the leggings and long button down shirt. She only played for an hour and the tickets were not cheap. That being said, Rick Springfield is still amazing in concert. The man may be getting up there but he is still hot, still dresses and moves like a rocker and plays for a solid 2 hours! So with Rick, I could happily go home again. Not so much with Pat.......
I'm really going to date myself here, but....Dark Shadows.
I can remember rushing home from school every afternoon to watch this...until my mother figured out what it was about and made me stop watching. :(
Yes they've tried to bring it back once already in the early 90's. Didn't work. Even with Michael T. Weiss and Adrian Paul. And I hear they're going to attempt another remake. Maybe they'll have better luck with Johnny Depp. Of course, watching the originals now is hysterical because the acting was horrendous.
Another show that came to my while typing this was Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Another one they attempted to resurrect with Stuart Townsend and failed at not too long ago.
Now I want to hit Blockbuster on my way home and see if I can find any of the Night Stalker stuff to watch this weekend.
Oh crap, Lori - you reminded me that a couple of years ago we saw Blondie.
Sad.
I will still go see the X Files movie. I am a glutton for punishment I guess.....
Most recently, The Mummy 3 wasn't anywhere near the same fun as the first two, but still dug it for my own shallow reasons.
OH, Psych can do whatever it wants and I will watch. Love that guilty pleasure show.
Thinking now about the 'new' Journey that's out touring. I cannot get past that Steve Perry is no longer lead singer...just a soundalike dude. Neat story how he got there, but still....
Is Gowan still the lead singer for the new Journey? I used to hear him on Canadian radio as a solo act when I was a kid/teen.
I really felt like asking for my money back after watching the X-Files movie. What a load of crap! I had to go out and find the first series on DVD and start watching the series again to undo the damage.
I am dreading the new Lost Boys movie. Why can't they just leave things alone?