Moi: Today in the League Lounge we have one of my favorites, Dakota Fanning. And all grown up too. Care for a drink, Ms. Fanning? Dakota: It's Cassidy, darling. Dakota Cassidy. I can totally understand the mixup, though. *Waves hand under nose in a dainty swirl* Maybe you should reconsider sober? Just to avoid these kinds of embarrassing public displays. Oh, and would you ask the skanky dude in the corner to pass the damn booze? Frickin' hog. While you're at it--I believe, before I agreed to this, ahem, interview, I asked that you remove all of the YELLOW M & M's from my line of vision in my diva interview request package. Get someone on that, would ya? Clearly, someone on your staff'll be searching Monster jobs frantically tonight.Me: Anton! Clean up your soap making supplies and get this bowl of fat out of here! It's offending Ms. Fanning...I mean Cassidy. Pardon me. I think I even read your book. Werewolves, or something. Dakota: You can read? Me: Oh...it's a funny lady. I skim...occasionally. Funny shit, if I recall. My eyes didn't bleed or anything, however, I did develop a nasty case of stigmata. I suspect the hemorrhaging is a result of straining from all the laughter. Did you set out to write a comedy or was your goal to steam up the werewolf world with hot sex? Dakota: Thank Jesus there was no eyeball bleed-itis. However, for the stigmata you can join the class action suit against me. Fuzzy on the details because, you know, I'm a boozer, but it's something about lawyers and candlelight vigils to save the victims who've read my book and are now rendered blind--or some such whiny crap. They call themselves The Accidental Victims. I can't help you much more than that, but I know there's a number you can call... *searches big stack of legal papers* Ahh, here it is. 1-800-Bleed-The-Bitch-Dry. Yeah, thass it :)  And on a serious note--I never set out to write a comedy, it just happens. I just tell the story like I would if I was hanging out with you and that's how it comes out. The Accidental Werewolf was from my 2004 RWA experience where we conventioneers shared a hotel with the Mary Kay chicks here in Dallas. I didn't have a name tag because I was unofficially attending, seeing as I live in Dallas. So whilst flitting from group to group, those who didn't know me would eyeball me suspiciously and ask if I was "Mary Kay or RWA." I certainly understood the confusion because I mean, I do know makeup, but watching those chicks work it with those unsuspecting writers was an amazing experience for me, and set in motion the "what if" factor that rules my insane mind.Me: Insane? Hmm. I'll reserve comment on that one, just to be polite. So here's one for ya. Marty, Nina or Wanda? Which one is most like the Dakota you are today? Dakota: Marty is definitely my exterior. I'm all about cute shoes and clothes and wearing what's right for my coloring. Wanda's the OCD, diplomatic part of me. But Nina's who I am internally--she's all about the loud and proud, whereas I, and the ex beauty queen in me, have a filter from brain to mouth. But trust me when I say, I think just like Nina speaks... For instance, right this second I'm thinking much the way Nina would. "What the frig kind of jacked up craptacularness is it with this Mark Henry? First, there were the yellow damned M & M's, then the name mix up, not to mention the lack of some good booze. To top it off, the tard brings me to this hinky, dark basement all wearing creepy clothes and scratching himself. What. The, Hell?" Me: Didn't mean to offend. Caitlin came home with the Popov's Vodka again so we didn't bother to freeze it. As for the clothes, well. I was buryin...I mean doing some yardwork. Now, where was I? Oh...I can research women's stuff with the best of them, but it doesn't mean I necessarily "get it." So, what's up with the color wheel obsession? Seriously? And why is yellow a scourge against humanity? Dakota: I love yellow on cars, walls, flowers, and sometimes the occasional "true" blonde, but for the most part yellow does nothing for anyone in terms of enhancing their color auras. Oh, and it's just plain wrong :) And the color wheel thing is a total joke from way back when I first began writing like four years ago. I'm a REALLY SMALL-TIME old, dried up ex-beauty queen, and I won some cheesy tiaras in my reign of vaseline and duct-tape. Back in my prime (long ago and far away), I learned a thing or two about what colors suit you, clothes etc. I just joked all the time about my infamous BQ history and how to be a babe on some groups and it stuck. Believe me when I tell you, it's grown to proportions that even the word epic don't cover :) Most anyone who knows me from the Yahoo groups, etc will crack on me about it and it developed into what I jokingly called the color wheel of life. In reality--I really don't judge anyone on their color choices--it's all in fun--unless you want the truth... LOL But I'd be happy to do your color wheel--because I only want the world to be beautiful--and that shirt you're wearing is burning my eyes :) Me: Maybe later, Jonbenet. Can we move on? Accidental Werewolf isn't your first book. It's not even your first werewolf series. Spill some history for the readers, why don't ya? Dakota: Sho nuff ain't. Here's the short of it. I wrote erotic e-books in the beginning of my writing career--just as the wave of e-pubbing was becoming really popular in 2004. I was a reviewer for an online site when I first discovered e-books, and that's how the writing thing happened for me. I wrote probably thirty or so--mostly series related shorts like the Wolfmates series, and a couple of full lengths. During an ugly divorce after being married for 19 years (and I'm only 29!), and no job history but trophy wife and SAHM to put on my resume, I needed to do something--anything. When that went down, and I couldn't even find a minimum wage job to support myself and two children to save my Cole Haan's, was when I got serious about writing more e-books. I had no other means to support myself and my sons. Needless to say, I had the attorney of a lifetime, and I got my fair share in the divorce--so I kept writing e-books which was my green light to stop practicing "Welcome To Walmart" in the mirror. My intention was never to write anywhere else but for e-pubs. However, some very close writing friends had other ideas and literally nabbed not one, but two agents for me. One pal cornered my now agent at the RT book fair in Daytona (yes, I still cringe when I relay that because it was so not a set up on my part). She was sitting next to my now agent Deidre Knight. I'll leave the guessing up to you when you wonder who my friend is (think same last name as my agent--crazy talented writer--now a NYT bestseller--and one of my mom-like influences in publishing). Deidre and I totally connected--she emailed me next day to ask to represent me--I wrote a proposal for The Accidental Werewolf, and she sold it two months later, and here I am. There but for the grace of and all, and an editor in NY who truly, truly has some nads and an awesome sense of humor :) Me: Normally at large social gatherings, I like to be the center of attention. So you can imagine my surprise, when at the Romantic Times Convention, I started hearing whispers of Dakota. Dakota this. Dakota that. It'd be enough to drive lesser only children mad. So I had to meet you, plus your book seemed to be everywhere mine was, again drawing attention away with it's purple cover and cute factor. I was not amused. Dakota: Is your color green today, darling? Me: No no. Not at all. How's that drink? *I point to the plastic party cup. Dakota eyes it suspiciously.* Me: So! What's next for Dakota Fanning? More werewolves?  Dakota: Well, for Dakota Fanning I'm sure it's an episode of When Child Stars Go Wild, followed by a stint in rehab, an appearance on Judge Joe Brown, and finally a potential Lifetime movie about her recovery. For Dakota Cassidy--it's vampires and Accidentally Dead July 1, 2008, then The Accidental Human, winter 2009 and a stand alone called Kiss and Hell in the summer of 2009 :)*It's at that moment that Carrie the Book Girl burst into the basement from the exterior door, filthy and dropping clops of sod as she shambles into the room. Dakota snatched up her traveller and darted, leaving me to take a shovel to my poor former assistant.* Me (yelling): Bye Ms. Fanning. Sorry about the interruption! ******************* Dakota and I will be sneaking in and out of the comments all day to snark, mostly but also to cull a winner from you crowd of book freaks. Winner? You ask? Oh yeah. Count 'em. Three. Trois. And the prizes are so in your color wheel, we've made sure of it. A signed copy of The Accidental Werewolf (personally signed in front of me, so I know it wasn't so freaking stamp and then packed into my RT suitcase with my dirty chones). A signed ARC of Accidentally Dead (cuz once you read AW, you'll sock your mom for more Nina). And... A $15 dollar Amazon gift card (in case a certain zombie bitch is more your style, or something). Make sure to comment, cuz we ain't freakin' psychics. We'll announce the winner on Wednesday so check back then and often. ETA: I'M GOING TO TOSS IN A COPY OF HAPPY HOUR OF THE DAMNED TO COMMENTOR #75. SO START SPREADING THE WORD. KEEP WATCHING. MAYBE YOU COULD JUMP IN AND SWIPE IT! |
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OMG, you guys are just too funny! Thank you for that, I needed something to wake me up this morning.
Lynda
I totally shifter/werewolf stories especially combined with hot steamy alpha lovin' and a goodly sprinkling of humor...
OOPS...I totally adore shifter/werewolf....
Dude, Mark, you must have a death wish. Yellow, hello?? And then clods of dirt? I despair.
*puts an asterisk next to Mark's name on her "must read" list as a reminder of his preferred place at the moment*
I can't wait to read Accidentally Dead. I loved The Accidential Werewolf.
Lisa
OMG you you two need to do stand up. I'm sneaking in a work and couldn't keep from snickering. lol I have Ms Dakota's book in my tbr pile. Need to get on that. Her other shifter/vamp books rock and are totally hilarious.
whew, Dakota.. i so needed the good laugh this morning you are always such a trip..trust me living in Iowa right now i need all the laughs i can get..i am so looking forward to the books coming out..
Snarky sparks are flying -- LOL You two make a delightful pair with your zingers.
Hilarious, you two!
Does anyone else think it would have been too funny if that picture of Dakota had a can of Coke instead of a chicken wing? I'm just sayin...
*finger waves to Dakota*
It's too bad this interview isn't on youtube, to get the full power of Dakota's voice. And to watch Anton's soap making demonstration.
Seriously.. a live version would be great... that was just hilarious...
Love the interview!!!!! too funny!! Not that I expected less!! Belated happy Birthday Mark!! Dakota, kiss Pebbulous for me!!! (think that's enough sucking up??)
Denise the Schmooze
From Dakota's Yahoo group
You guys are hilarious. Thanks for the wake-up call. Much success & Happy writing!
Great interview! I have both books on my wishlist!
This was hilarious! My son is a bit concerned that I have lost my mind...what does he know...right?
SO what I needed after hosting the sleepover from hell with a bunch of screaming pre-teen girls. Huge headache here. But you guys made my Saturday morning and you made me laugh! Love ya both! I am off to Honfest now and I promise to try to snag a few tiaras and cans of Aquanet for you Dakota darling!!
Great Interview! Loads of laughs in there.
Ohhhhhhhh loved the interview Mark and Dakota! **cough cough** no rehab or Walmart greeter for you my dear! Twas Awesome.
I love werewolf/vampire stories! You have totally made my day. The Accidental Werewolf was awesome and Accidently Dead sounds just as good if not better. I can't wait!
Caitlin
Stand up--now there's a thought if our careers as writers, fail, eh, Mark?
OMG--maybe we should do the last comic standing? Or sitting. I like sitting much better than standing :)
Dudes, you guys are da bestest, and I lubs ya for popping in!
Keep. 'Em. Coming.
DC :)
I'd love to see you two do stand up, but I'd miss the books.
Loved the interview. Sorry about Carrie though, she seemed like a good assistant. :o)
--Leslie
What a great way to start the afternoon (after putting my foot in my mouth with some soccer parents earlier today - sorry, but kids today are not always smarter than their parents).
Very very funny interview. I can't wait to read Accidentally Dead. Mark - your book is still on my night table, but it's at the top of the pile just under the Kleenex box.
Maybe you two should write a book together.
As always you both had me laughing
***Please do NOT enter me in the contest***
Ter
Even mah colorwheeeel??? Personally I like Last Comic Lounging With a Cocktail Running the Cabana Boy Ragged...
Awesome interview, you two. And holla for booksies!!
Lisa T.
Or Last comic lounging on the TROPICAL ISLAND running the TWIN cabana boys ragged :)
Snerk--DC :)
Stand up?
God no. I hate attention.
like Paris Hilton hates her money, right, Mark?
DC :)
Hi Dakota, I must say I was cracking up reading the Accidental
Werewolf and am so looking forward
to Accidentally Dead book. I seriously hope you are planning
many more books. I just love the
whole series. I think books that
have humor in them are great. Life sucks most of the time and anything
that can make me laugh is great.
You and Mark do a hilarious interview. This was a great way to
spend a little time.
Thanks guys
Oops.
You caught me being sarcastic.
Next up?
Pole dancing!
WOW what a fun place to be. Great interview by the way and some lovely prizes. What are your plans for Fahter's Day?
Accidentally Dead sounds good! I can't wait to read it!
Hi Dakota! *waves like mad fangrrrl*
Oh hi.. Mark..
So I had a blast reading The Accidental Werewolf, it was hilarious but I'm sorry to say but I'm a member of The Accidental Victims, we're gonna need that check any day now, Mizz Cassidy.
This post has been removed by the author.
Get the grease and I'll get the thongs!
And heyyy, Wendy--you know who to call. LOL
DC :)
What fun, that was such a kick to read, with amazing contest prizes, dahling.
Oh geez, that was a great blog -- I sure love comedy filled romances. . . or blogs. . . or anything! :)
Lois
Thanks for the break & laughs. Now got to get back to work!
::giggles::
you guys rock!
I want to win please, because in three more weeks I'll be stuck at home with a voracious new baby!
Thongs have there place but certainly not on Mark. He starts up a routine and it's goodbye Seattle!
Definitely loved the interview. Always fun to see a slice of the writerly life, or a slice of someone's brain (mmmm, brains).
Oh man, that was hilarious. You can always count on Dakota to make you laugh. Thanks. :)
Oh, Habibi, congrats, darlin'! Do you know what the gender of the baby will be?
if you have a girl, could you send her to me when she's old enough to play Barbie and GI Joe (fuzzy hair only), a love story in plastic and permanently pointed toes?
DC :)
So the comedy act out, how about writing a book together? Double the sarcasm, double the hilarity!?!
This is frickin hilarious! I thought only my friends talked to each other like this. We prefer the green M&M's ourselves. And we have tshirts with green M&M ladies embroidered on them only they are wearing black leather boots and wearing a mask and flicking a whip, lol!
Pike - You're so right, g-strings are so out. This year is all about bottomless.
Everybody else - What do you think? A bunch of us clinically insane writer types are going down to Tulsa for this Conestoga thing. I'm bringing a video camera. Should I post some shit?
Absolutely! A team of "commando" trotting writers, hopped up on fruit punch and chicken wings makes for some great reading.
Ienjoyed reading Dakota's comments and have added her book to my beach bag of books to read on my vacation. Geez, I have so many in there now i am going to have to extend my vacation.
JOYE
JWIsley@aol.com
Hello Darlin's
OMG!!! I loved that interview. How I wish it could have been captured on video, for it would have been a hoot in yer shorts fun.
This interview had me laughing so hard and I have not had that pleasure in ages.
I wish much success to you both and cannot wait to read the next installment of both of your books.
smoochies
DA Nanchez
LOL, thanks for sharing the snark! Nothing better than a good laugh at any time of the day. I loved Mark's book, so if he says Dakota's books are awesome, then I'll be running off to buy some. :)
I think I am on Miss Cassidy's side (sorry Mark!). Shifter/Werewolf stories are more my lovely cup of tea. I take that back. Give me a good ol' brooding vampire with a need to bite and seduce and I am putty.
So really it goes Vampire, Shifter/WereWolf, everything else...Been leaning towards Fae books lately (which I completely blame on Yasmine Galenorn's OtherWorld series...) but don't tell my gothic friends, they get all itchy if I stray from the ways of the dark ::rolls eyes::
and why can't I do strike through HTML blogger? that's ridiculous. its my favorite HTML!
Enjoyed this and being able to laugh while reading it. I love to read about shifter/werewolves and vampires. I haven't read your books yet but they are on my TBR list.
Da Nanchez! - Birthday girl and fellow gemini, you should be hangin' out here all the time!
OMG--its Da Nanchez! Happy late b'day, beautiful!
DC :)
Oh, you two make a lovely couple. If only Mark didn't love yellow so much and Dakota didn't hate digging graves late at night.
I think I know why your books turn out comical. Could it be because you are a really really funny lady. I had a ball with what little time I did spend with you guys. Or was it the tequila? Well what ever the catalyst my memories are fond and make me smile.
For the love of a good manicure, Michele--I simply CANNOT be the shoveler in this relationship. I will, however, be happy to be the lookout--as long as it's from the day spa across the street :)
and tequila ALWAYS makes me a frickin' guaranteed laugh, babes :)
DC :)
can i post twice?
-KC
Oh, KC--like we'd know anyway... we're drinkers here. LOL
Thanks for popping in!
DC :)
Oy! Snark y'all later. I've got a nephew's graduation barbecue to get to, plus the bank.
Ciao Bellas!
I love shifter and werewolf stories.... these are so much fun
I loved both of your books and can't wait for the next in the series.
I love you both. (Even if Mark keeps killing me!)
Dakota - I can't wait to read Accidentally Dead. I am going on a cruise in July and already plan on taking it with me to read while I lounge by the pool drinking fruity drinks!!
-Carrie the book girl
Oh, Carrie--you do take some abuse, eh? I'm sending you big poor babies because Mark's so damn mean to ya.
DC :)
*snickers* I think a comedy act with you two would get banned in at least half the continental US.
...actually that's not too shabby. :D
Katy
So Love the photo!!! Is that a buffalo wing? CANT wait to read the next accidental book !!! I have Marks on my wish list also!!! Thanks for snarking up my day!
Culleen
Dallas? You're in Dallas, too. Wow, so many writers here, and I've never met any of them. Of course I'm a shut-in hiding from the FBI and Donald Trump's semi-evil doppelganger: Trystan Trump.
Sure would like to win a book or two to read while waiting for the ax to fall.
Wish me luck.
BTW, Accidental Werewolf sounds great. Guess I'll have to pony up another couple buck if you give the prize to someone else.
Sad, it's it?
Hey Dakota, great interview :) and you know how much I love your books already :)
Renee
You two would be great at stand-up, this was just as fun and entertaining as your books, Dakota.
Dakota - this morning I thought about the color wheel. My kids bought me this BRIGHT yellow shirt with a smiley face on it. They are 5, 3, and 22months, so they don't know any better. But now I have to wear a bright yellow shirt on occasion so that I don't hurt their feelings. (I wear it when only the family will be the one to see me) So my question is - when should we start teaching our children about the color wheel and that yellow is a no-no??
oh, sweet mutha, Carrie--that IS a dilemma... I call we begin in utero. Like say stuff that's sort of a chant. You know--yellow is what color you're room in HELL will be if you evah buy mommy yellow stuff.
That should do the trick. LOL
Hi Dakota, how far are you going to take your Color Me Dead Series?
BTW, Mark your zombies are a stitch.
Zombies can get a bit on the messy side...you know arm falling off here, ear there...
Hey Dakota,
Is that a chicken wing you are munching on in the picture? If so have ever tried the originals (best) in Buffalo, NY? I'm 20 miles east of Buffalo in the country.
wow i came home from working at the humane society and look at all the posts.. .i have some catching up to do...
ooh just read the 75 post thing.. i bet someone beats me to it..lol
Thanks Dakota! I will have to work on it with them. I should have started earlier!!!
Go Dakota( not Fanning)! You are great, and not accidentally!
If I begged for Accidentally Dead, would that be uncouth? Because I NEED it!! I do! Really!! I HAVE to read it! And I still have my eyes, so I must be immune to the virus... I can't handle it! Really! PLEASE!!!
Here, I have green M&M's. *hands over baggie* I'm sure they have to be in your color wheel, Ms. Dakota. Take them. Go on... Take them... Please. ... Please. .... PLEASE!!!
Nascarandbeans...... Stop sending us this rain already! The tornado sirens are really cutting into my blog time!
I agree with Miss ROFLMAO Dakota... yellow M &M's are evil (possibly zombie m&ms?)
Kais.. i wish someone would stop the darned things altogether.. were under a threat of severe weather again tonite..imagine that...
and hubby called me last night they are pulling them out of training in south dakotah, and they are sending them back to iowa.. but they arent coming home they are going straight to flood duty..i havent seen him in weeks..and who knows when i will now.. ggrrr. being married to the army sucks..lol
Today I feel like i am tied to my color wheel, it is spinning, and the gods are throwing lightening bolts at it for fun. But then I see that genteel pic of Dakota showing us how to demolish a chicken wing, and all is right with the world.
Actually, Audrey, it's the Accidental series--but I figured out why everyone thinks it's color me dead...
My tagline for Accidentally Dead is color me dead. but in the sig--I put it in BEFORE the title of the book. Cuz I are smart. LOL
There's one more after Accidentally Dead and that's The Accidental Human :)--thanks for asking!
I have Michelle--I'm FROM NY. Miss it like caaa-razy, baby :)
Beans, so sorry, do you need emergency supplies, like batteries, Astroglide? (Dakota is having an interesting effect on me)
don't ya just love a good chick wing, kaisquared?
Now you two need to play nice. We don't need an all out zombie vs. vamps and weres war in the discussion boards. And pick me to win, cuz I never win anything and I had a bad week cuz my son got arrested for stealing a teachers chair as a senior prank and can't participate in graduation now. Do you feel sorry for me yet?
Beans, you are doing a great thing setting up and helping with that shelter for animals in the flood that is Iowa. I hope the rain stops soon!
lol Kais.. by the time hubby gets through all this and a year in Iraq.. i will probably own stock in battery companys... roflmao...
Now ashli, I believe a fairly hirsute and/or somewhat changeable mate beats "Oops I think it fell off" in the lovin department!
haha kais.it keeps me busy and not thinking about the s*e*x from my soldier i wont be gettin any time soon..lol.. weve been lucky weve reunited all by about 4 dogs and 10 cats.. but someone brought us a box of baby racoons yesterday, and someone called with 2 skunks.. they were told we dont do skunks.lol. we did send the baby racooons to a rehab nearby...
Dakota, were you the model for the Accidently series cover art? I thought I noticed a resemblance, sans chicken wing of course.
I'm not sure what's funnier. The photo or you two!!!!!!!
PS I love yellow...jus'sayin' ya'll
Pssst Dakota I think Amie is a yellow-lovin zombie.... watch out!
Great Interview. Sounds like a party tonight:-)
My stomach hurts from laughing *s*
Mark or Dakota.... does tequila make a zombie's limbs fall off?
im no candy snob.. i will take the yellow m&m's.... lol...
hmm it got awfully quiet here. everyone must be off in search of chick wings and green m & m's .. lol
hmm ok.. i see there are 99 posts.. so i will do one more just to break the hundred mark.. roflmao.. come out come out wherever you are...lol..
Dakota...I'm always up for winning books! Last February I had to go out and buy The Accidental Werewolf:) It was so worth it though....Nancy:)
I just got back from work and laughed my way through your fab interview. Thanks, I needed that!
Beans, I think Mark forgot to grease the pole before he started, and now he is "hung up"...... too bad he buried his assistant!
i thought maybe you had floated off somewhere kais.. lol...
Dakota made me, so you can blame her--and what else is new?--and no, the color is neither yellow nor green, it's more like a sickly mix of both with a tad of fluorescence to it...
*ahem*
Hi, guys.
Thanks, Lil and Nancy--youse guyz rawk :)
Azreclady--I say whore schmore, right? Do you think the local deli calls ya a whore because you play the lotto every week? Of course not--and even