| Okay, this is officially the lamest blog topic idea I have ever come up with, I think. But hey, maybe I'm wrong and it will be fun. We'll see. This morning I had to take the Faerie to the doctor's office. She's officially three and a half now (my baby's not a baby anymore!) and so needs her shots. If there is anything in the world that feels worse than deliberately taking your precious baby to a place where you know they will cause her physical pain, I don't know what it is. Seriously. With both my girls I practically need to be sedated before taking them for their shots. I get all teary and guilty and watch them walk around, happily oblivious, like I'm about to sell them into slavery or something. They're so trusting, you see. They know Mommy would never, ever hurt them. Their Mommy would never hold them in an iron grip while a total stranger gives them a puncture wound, right? Wrong. So I, feeling awful, walk my adorable little darling to the doctor's office, trying not to cry while she smiles and says hello to people and tells me she's so happy to see the doctor, she loves the doctor. And then we sit in the waiting room and look at a magazine together and I keep kissing her sweet little head because I figure in ten minutes she's not going to want to let me touch her at all, after I've thrown her to the syringe-bearing wolves. And we go in to the office, and the nurse shows me the huge array of little bottles (three and a half means like five vaccines at once) and my eyes sting. And we take my beloved child's cardigan off, and we expose her arm and I hold it in place, and she's looking at the posters on the opposite wall like the obedient angel she is (the nurse told her to look at the picture), and all I can see is the enormous needle which appears to have barbs at the end of it and is also laughing at me, and I brace myself for the sobs and that "Et tu, Mommy?" look that the Princess used to get (once she basically cussed out the nurse--her language skills weren't up to the job but the collection of syllables pouring from her little mouth made her feelings clear enough). And the nurse sticks the needle in. And the Faerie sort of glances down, like something mildly interesting is happening, and looks back at the posters. The same thing happens when we turn her in my lap so the nurse can stick the other arm with the remaining vaccines (Half in one needle, the other half in the other.) Not a tear. Not a peep. Nothing. That is how awesome my little Faerie is. So go ahead. Brag about your kids. Or your pets. Or whatever. Let's hear it. (Bonus points if you recognize the quote I used in the title.) |
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Recently, on vacation, we exited a restaurant to find a band had set up outside. I asked Spawn, who's almost six, if he wanted to dance. His response?
"Nah, I'd hate to get the ladies interested."
I have no pets or kids of my own (YET) but I have wonderful nieces, nephews and god-babies... in fact, my god-son just recently did something that blew his mommy away.
She caught him under the sink in the bathroom (he's almost 2) and yelled at him. So he took her hand, walked out to the living room, grabbed the towel sitting there, walked her back into the bathroom, and showed her how he WAS PUTTING TOWELS AWAY!! He's 2!! And he was helping Mommy! Needless to say, BFF pratically cried as she apologized and told him what a wonderful little man he was. *sigh* I love 'my' babies!!
I only hope my oldest is that good for her shots in July (she'll actually be 4). We had her with us for her brother's 2 month visit (2 shots also) and she wanted to watch. So, sadistic parents that we are, we let her. She saw the shots and when he cried I told her it was because the shots pinched him. Then he settled down quickly and she said, "See mommy, it's all better now. You will be okay" and patted me on the arm. Apparently my nerves were obviously frayed even to a 3 yo.
Oh, and isn't that quote from Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa?
Et tu, Brutus?
;-P
No kids, no pets of my own, not even an interesting cousin I can say I watched brave the needle. Mum has a chihuahua that tries to crawl under her armpits whenver the needle comes out (he just had his shots) and my sister still threatens to pass out if you stick her with a pin. Uusually she just throws up these days. Nice.
P.S. Courage the Cowardly Dog (aka Pasha) is the one in the picture. :-)
Aaaw, Jaye, that's so adorable!
nd aaaw Melissa too! I love when they help. They get so proud of themselves.
Oh Sadieloree, it's so awful isn't it? I always feel like a sadist or something. Horrid.
And yes, got it in one! Bad Santa indeed. "Your name is Thurman Merman? Jesus."
Oh, at least I'm not that bad, Skarrah! I used to have a minor needle phobia but getting pregnant pretty much ended it--especially when I had to get the extended gestational diabetes test with my first--five sticks in three hours, or whatever it was. It was a LOT.
No kids, but we have dogs. The biggest, an irradiated monstrosity of a maltese/yorkie mix, is a bad patient.
She lays on her side and pants like she's waiting for the death rattle. Then she looks at me like I'm about to have her put down. All to pick up a vial of Advantage for fleas.
Not even a shot.
Your Faerie is awesome. Wanna trade?
*Shivers* Oh Stacia, I feels your pain. We get to take Ree Ree and Peanut (4 and 2) for their check-ups tomorrow so there's been a lot of cringing and promising that things will be okay. My wife ditches me everytime and makes me out to be the bad guy. You take that bow, and have a pint to ease your nerves.
I don't have kids but I do have a cat that will take a pill if you hold it out to him. He will also pee in a tupperware for the vet.(he has kidney disease) He is awesome..
Mark- Shannon's and I's dogs used to pee themselves at the vet... then we changed vets and they were angels. Just a thought...
My 12 YO just "broke up" with his girlfriend. How does he tell me? He comes in and flops on my bed and says, "Well I'm back on the market."
OMG Save me now.
And the dog. Don't eve get me started. She carries her food bowl outside every morning -- guess she likes picnic breakfasts!
Congrats on the little trooper. Wait until kindegarden (OMG I bawled)
No kids. I'd be the type of parent that would forget to pick them up at school or something.
One cat. She's pretty good about the vet, but lately she's started to run and hide when I get the carrier out.
A bigger issue is that she's always been an inside cat, since we found her as a stray and worry about her getting lost again. Except that we took her out once and now she sits and yowls. And yowls. And yowls at the back door.
Todd-- My cat does the same thing!! Even if I just go in the garage and back, he sits at the door and yowls. The other day he got out for the first time at the new house and what does he do?? He hides under the back porch and cries. But the next day he's back to yowling mournfully at the doors. Meh, maybe it's just short term memory loss. :)
when my little brother was 3 or 4 he fell on the ground and bit his lip. He needed to have 1 suture. When he saw the doctor with the syringe to anesthesiate his lip he started to scream : Murderer, Assassin they are triying to kill me ! mom help murderers ! she look at the syringe and asked thed to do it without the anestesia (because they were going to puncture him the same number of time to anestesiate him and to make the suture) but she had to hold him with my father the all time :)
ROFL. I had the same kinds of feelings about taking my boys for their first shots (they cried like total sissies) and for their annual bloodwork- they both have severe food allergies, so they have to have a LOT of blood drawn each year - annual retesting is standard - you know, where they stick a needle in the kid's arm rather than pricking his finger.
Oddly, though they bawl over shots, they don't bat an eye over having blood drawn... I asked each one to guess what color his blood was going to be. My four year old guessed green, and was surprised when it came out red. His wiser older brother knew the color of his blood, and was so conceited about knowing that he distracted himself completely. We don't have to have it done again until September. Doubt I can pull the same trick again, though.