| So as I lay on my couch of pain, recovering from this weekend's fun with abdominal disorders (the Faerie had the stomach flu Friday night, and managed to throw up on me three times, poor thing; I often think the biggest change in your life when you become a parent is that having another person's vomit on you is no longer a big deal but is instead just a minor annoyance, on a par with your socks slipping between your toes--I hate that--but not as bad as a fly in the house. And so of course the hubs and I both came down with it Sunday, and spent all of that day and yesterday huddled on the couch under a blanket while the children turned the living room into some bizarre, disastrous ocean of papers, clothing, and little plastic toys which I do not yet have the energy to tidy) I was thinking about writing. Thinking, not doing, really, although I gathered myself enough last night to make a few edits. Well, I thought about writing and Johnny Cash, because we finally got around to watching Walk the Line. Pretty good. I've always been a Cash fan, but not a rabid enough one for the inaccuracies of the movie to bug me, so I quite liked it. Although they never played "Flesh and Blood" which I think is one of the most romantic songs ever written. See how I digress when I'm not feeling well? Anyway. I was thinking about writing. And hoping my head wouldn't actually crack open. And I started thinking how much there is to worry about, and how little I believe worrying is productive. And how, in fact, I actually sometimes think the amount of worrying a writer does is directly inverse to the amount of effective work they actually do. At least when it comes to some worries. It's the same with being pleased with success. For example, at this moment I am pleased that Personal Demons is #2 on Fictionwise's Fantasy bestseller list. And is, in fact, #11 on the overall Bestseller list, and #5 on the overall Highest-Rated list. It's gratifying, sure. I mean, I guess it is; that could mean twenty copies have sold or it could mean six hundred have sold, who knows? All it means to me is the title is up on the front page. And in my opinion, bleary as it is at the moment, that's all that really should matter. Because it's so easy. It's so easy to start googling yourself on a regular basis and checking your Amazon listing every other minute. Writing is such a solitary business; it's easy to start seeing your success in terms of lists, or, as I've seen happen a lot with those printed by a certain scam publisher whose initials are PA, how many book signings you manage to schedule. Or how many fan letters you get (which, okay, that is seriously exciting, so I'll give you all a pass on that. Not that you need it; why the heck does what I think matter? Take it to heart or don't, it's up to you.) See, stuff like that? That's trappings. And trappings are fun, sure. But it's easy to get so caught up in the trappings that you forget what's really important, which is the work. I get excited when I finish a scene that went exactly the way I wanted it to go, where not a word is out of place, where I'm absolutely convinced that when it's done the reader will feel exactly what I want them to feel and know exactly what I want them to know, and nothing else. That's what excites me. When I come up with a new way to twist the plot and it adds a whole new dimension to the book, or leads into something I never thought I could reach. And in my opinion--which, again, is my opinion--that's what it should be about, and it's hard to do that when you're worrying about how much money you'll make or asking everyone and their brother if they think your character should do A or B, or whatever. There's lots of fun little distractions--I know a lot of people who can spend hours "casting" their books, and although I try not to I admit I've dabbled in it once or twice (but only because someone asks, like for a cover.) But you have to try and tune those distractons out, and focus on the work. Because if the work doesn't appeal to you, and you'd rather play in the other end of the pool, you really ought to consider whether you're really doing what you should be doing. And that's my grumpy little sick thought for the day. My tummy still hurts. |
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Congratulations on Personal Demons!! I'm sure most writers can't help but think of a list at some point or another.
You're right, it is all about the work. I have been reading and not writing the past few weeks and I feel guilty and awful. I'm writing two short stories this week. I feel weird when I don't write. I have to do it---it's all I want to do. :*)
Wow! Look at you on BS lists!! Congrats!!!
Though I do miss blogging in some ways, it really has freed up a lot of time for writing. And with a sequel simmering, the idea of having to promote and write (while in school and working) is not at all appealling. I like double cream cheese on my bagels.
I think it was Joseph Campbell who said joy should be your compass, so follow your bliss. If you really would rather do anything than write, um, might be time to reconsider. Then again, as much as I live for the story there are days when writing is like getting pushed off a roof repeatedly, so it's not all fun. Still, when you know you've pulled something off, there's nothing like it.
Oh noes! Poor Stacia. Well, take heart: Tax Deduction the Younger is home with me today because he puked all over Loving Husband's back seat on the way to pre-K. :-/
Charlene, I like that: Follow your bliss. Yeah.
See? See? Told ya that book would sell!
Gotta agree, when everything in a scene or story just kinda comes together like it was orchestrated by some genius--even though you know it was a combination of blind luck and your own subconscious--that's the best feeling ever. Writing isn't easy, but it is fun and rewarding (not always in the form of $$). The moment it becomes something else, that's the moment I stop doing it.
Great news about the book!
As for this:
"Because if the work doesn't appeal to you, and you'd rather play in the other end of the pool, you really ought to consider whether you're really doing what you should be doing."
Dude, I love writing. LOVE IT! But sometimes I need to give it a rest and watch bad reality TV or do thirty rounds of Wordtwist. But at the end of the day, the work gets done because when I don't write for too long I become neurotic and cause all sorts of self-imposed drama.
I just worry when people say, you have to LOVE IT ALL THE TIME or you're not a for realz writer. I freaking hate writing at least once a week.
aww po'witto dec... get better, quick!
worse than a fly in the house? one up a nostril :(
grats on the successful sales, and do have many millions more....
To me--and this isn't for everyone--writing is just as much about typing words into my laptop as it is experiencing life and raping overheard dialogue and weird experiences from my friends, family and any passerby unlucky enough to cross my path.
So when I spend a month or two not specifically writing sentences that progress toward a manuscript, I'm still working (just in me head).
Why just yesterday, a jokey conversation about a delayed hymen break became the centerpiece for an argument in American Minions. Today, it's all about puffy nipple fat. Yeah. That's definitely going into a book.
Thank God for a decent memory.
Thanks DH! Oh, I hear you on the guilt. I'm already a week past my self-imposed Finish The Book deadline and I'm at least 30k away from the ending.
Thanks Seeley! Promo isn't that bad--well, some isn't. I like blogging and I don't mind interviews. It's live chats I don't like.
Thank you Charlene! Oh, I know we all have days where beating ourselves about the head with a hammer sounds like a more fun way to spend the time. But yeah, ultimately...if you don't really love it, this business is just too hard. You know what I mean?
I think everyone's getting it, Jackie. Now the Princess has it--all over the floor, which was fun--and I hear it's going around everywhere. On both continents.
Thanks kis! Yep. It's like the moment near the end of the book, when you realize you planted a clue without even realizing it. I love that!
Oh, goodness, Jaye, I certainly didn't mean you have to love it all the time. I meant, if the idea of doing book tours and book signings and going on Oprah is the reason you want to write, you don't really want to do the tedious work of revising and polishing and all that, and you're just not that interested in that pesky writing part to begin with...maybe you should have a rethink.
Thanks Laughingwolf! Yeah, I am pleased. :-)
Lol Mark I did an interview earlier where they asked what I do when I'm not writing. As if there's ever a time when I'm not writing. I may not be physically doing it, but I'm still doing it.
Congrats on the stats! I'd be googling like mad as well. Hope you're feeling better. My littlest had a visit from the puke fariy last night too so I can totally associate. The countdown is on.
Congrats Stacia! You certainly deserve it! Personal Demons is one of my favs!!! If I evah need Demon hitmen I am coming to you!!!
Feels bettah!!!
Synde
Sorry, Stacia. I didn't mean to take your words out of context. SOME writers make it seem like if you don't love writing more than anything else, then you're not a real writer.
But you're correct, the work must get done. Period.