| Yep. 99 League of Reluctant Adults blog posts. It seems like just yesterday when Jill emailed with the scheme she and Ilona cooked up. And now we're rolling along, gathering no moss, throwing no ston...well yes throwing stones but, well, you know what I mean. It seems the perfect time, then. While I'm knee deep in deadlines and struggling with an unweildy manuscript, to drop everything and shit out a top ten list for you hambones. So that's what I'll do. ...and it's titled: TOP TEN DISTRACTIONS (THAT KEEP MARK IN A STATE OF DEADLINE DRIVEN PANIC, BORDERING ON HIS FIRST SCHIZOPHRENIC BREAK!)  10. Good Books: Damn you writers! How do you expect me to finish my novel when I've got so much reading to do. It's just not possible. Among the culprits this past year were Ilona's MAGIC BITES, Jeaniene Frost's HALFWAY TO THE GRAVE, Joe Schreiber's EAT THE DARK and his unpublished manuscript THE BLACK WING, which is going to rival Straub for creepy secrets/ghosts, and SNAKE AGENT by Liz Williams, which I can't mention enough.9. New Story Ideas: There's nothing worse than sitting down to a writing session and dwelling on a new "what if." My most recent is a dirty little victorian horror I call CLUCK. Ended up writing the bones of it for a few hours instead of a new chapter. Someone's thrown a gris-gris under my house.  8. Eating Disorders: I have an unhealthy fascination with reality shows about eating disorders. Thank you INTERVENTION and BROOKHAVEN OBESITY CLINIC, you're ruining my life. In fact, there was this one...nope. Not going to even finish the sentence. I'm already getting the urge to head downstairs and check the channel guide.7. You Tube Videos: I'm not talking about those jokey vids that people post of their kids falling or prisoner's dirty dancing, I'm talking music videos. 5 minutes a pop. Watch 10 and you've lost a valuable hour of writing time. 6. Puppy Pee: While this is the unquestionably the cutest baby ever...  This... ...is not!5. Self Googling: I know, I know. It's one of those things that's sure to drive me mad. What are people saying? Are people talking at all? Do I exist? I wonder if this particular ailment strikes all authors. 4. Facebook Scrabulous: Enough said. 3. Frequent Amazon Ranking Checks: Now I know I'm not alone here. Those rankings may be arbitrarily generated numbers, as I've been told by an Amazon employee. But I'm hooked, I measure the emotional quality of my day by my standings. Then I compare. Boy do I compare. First is Anton, who usually is pretty close in ranking, and I know does the same with mine--cuz we're sick, that way--then come all the others. I could spend hours. Hours I tell you. In case you're wondering: 93,626. Not the best but I'm happy under 100,000 for some reason. And that reason is...INSANITY! 2. Errands: Nothing eats up more of my time than running errands. We live in a new community that is twenty minutes in any direction from a grocery store. For a planned community of several thousand people, this seems woefully underplanned. But, I'm the one that's home so I can't really expect Caroline to do the grocery shopping. Well I could, but then I'd be an asshole and I'm much more comfortable with the term crazy. And, now...drum roll... 1. Blogging: Take this one for instance, it's 11:00 am. I've been up since 7:30. I had to figure out what the top ten was going to be about (despite coming up with the topic last week, I hadn't done any more thinking on it than that), make a list, order them. Mosy on through the internet to look for pictures and then take a few myself and upload them (oh yeah, that's fresh pee). Three and a half hours. Am I on crack? So there they are, my top ten distractions. If there's one thing that can be said about me, it's that I'm distractible. In fact what's that clicking sound? Seems to be coming from the... |
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Scrabulous...the best time waster ever brought to my attention.
There was another item on your list I wanted to comment on, but suddenly I feel the urge to go check if anyone else has played a turn yet...
Sick! I refuse to be baited.
Oh.
Okay.
That IS the cutest baby ever! I have found something else for you to potentially add to your list. Scramble on Facebook. I started it yesterday. I'm addicted. Three minute games start every thirty seconds. (muhaha)
I rebuked your Scramble seduction yesterday when it showed up in my notifications and I rebuke it now!
No more distractions!
Ooh burn! Shuunned! Heheh
lol Scrabulous is evil I tell you!
That pup is adorable. The pee not so adorable. :)
At the risk of flooding your comment section unnecessarily with yet another post, I must admit you did the right thing. It's a major time sink.
I can only imagine. Now, I'm off to clean up some pee, run an errand and obsess about overeating.
Ciao!
Mark, I might be able to save you a few minutes re the google your name thing. Just set up a google alert. It will let you know via email the moment anyone talks about you. 8^)
I think we share the same top ten disease. What's your recovery plan?
I'm pleased as Jim Jones punch that I could part of your writerly procrastination. Self-googling truly is the black lung of the writing business. Hairy palms be damned. Meanwhile I've assembled model cars, painted dozens of baby dolls as monsters and mutants and written unfilmable screenplays just to keep from having to contemplate chapter whatever. Plus, I love to look up stuff on eBay that I could never afford -- like a mint in box Kenner 18'' Alien doll. Must have it. Or at least look at pictures of it.
Lanky - I have those all set up, but it didn't help.
Lila - Recovery?
Joe - You Devil!
Not that you need another distraction, but I've developed an addiction to freerice.com. I justify this because not only do I get to increase my vocabulary, but I'm also fighting world hunger.
You may or may not have already seen this.
Iz genyus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR7yqkmNG3A
Lisa T.
Jaye - I donated 180 grains and became frustrated with "tautology." I must never return. Sorry huddled masses.
Lisa - You're forcing me to post that video on LJ. You know that. Forcing me.
I thought I was the only one obsessed with eating disorder TV! I will drop everything to watch some woman with anorexia.
Ooooh. Bulimics are my favorite. So sneaky.
I actually enjoy the fat people shows more. I like the clinic one best, rather than the occasional one-offs following a specific person.
I told you it was genius! I was going to post it a while back but didn't.
It must be shared.
Todd - Oh God, that guy with the elephantitis on his leg freaks me out so bad. I've watched it three times.
Lisa - It has been done!
Everyone - Join me a Wilkinson's Family Restaurant. We'll be distracted together.
http://mdhenry.livejournal.com
Mark, I will never forget a Lifetime movie (they have the BEST eating disorder movies) where a girl was bulemiarexic and saved her vomit in jars in the closet.
Yep. Row after row of pukejars in her closet. FREAKY.
I like the fat people, too.
Oh, and little people and sex changes. I love the eating disordered, the little people and the transexuals. I'm like a modern-day Eleanor Roosevelt, seriously.
Wahaha, I am part of your procrastination top ten! :)
Oh my God, Stace! What was that movie called. I was talking about that with my editor this morning (non work related banter, again distraction) and for some reason, I got it into my head that it was:
Something About Amelia starring Roxanna Zal, but then I looked it up and that's the child sex abuse one.
So...Help!
Alana - Oh yes. You are to blame!
I'm just back from the coffee shop where I had no problem hammering out 1500 words in an hour and a half, but now I'm home and look what I'm doing. And guess where I'm going next?
My dentists are obsessed with eating disorders. They're convinced I have bulimia because my teeth are thin and because my skinny bitch frame. Yes, even we skinny bitches are discriminated against in society.
For the record, I'm not bulimic. My metabolism just works well. As for the thin teeth...well, they're just weak ;-)
Have a lovely day! :-)
Okay, I gotta say. That eating disorder picture is gross. I'm betting that's a model. That's crazy!
It was really twisted, wasn't it Mark? What Freudian mindstew simmered in that chick's brain I have no idea. That's what toilets are for!
I will endeavor to find out. What would we google? "Vomit jars"?
Oh, and am I the only one who wondered where she got all those jars to begin with?
Found!
It was an episode of HBO's "Lifestories: Families in Crisis" called "The Secret Life of Mary Margaret: Portrait of a Bulimic", and it starred Calista Flockhart.
Yep, that's it. Callista Flockhart. Now, it's all coming back.
Thanks.
Flockhart in an eating disorder movie. So much snark flooded my brain I needed to go lie down for a bit.
I rebuked Stacey's invite too.
And Scrabulous is a stimulant. It keeps the brain from growing stale.
You need Scrabulous. (or at least till I beat you ONCE)
P.S. I'm so behind in my net reading. I've been spending too much time in the real world. LOL!