| The topic this week is peeves while we write. You can ask my husband. I'm the world's most peevish person when it comes to what I need and don't need for quality writing time. I used to be pretty simple - a good soundtrack, a computer, and a great idea were all I needed. Now? Not so much. It'll probably be easier to tell you what I CAN'T have when I'm writing than what I *must* have when I do. I'll start with my biggest peeve - someone looking at my screen. That's right. Nothing will make me dissemble faster or turn into a screaming authorbeast faster than someone peering over my shoulder, trying to read while I spew words on the screen. Here's a scene that's happened ALL TOO OFTEN at my house: Me, typing away: He hungrily touched her, forcing his thick- Husband: *peers over my shoulder* Hey. Whatcha writing? What's that guy doing to her? Me: AUUGHHHAAAAGHHH. Go away! Go away! Husband, doing the Nelson laugh and pointing: Ha ha. Me: I hate you. Husband: Are they having buttsecks? You're writing buttsecks!! Me: AUAAGHAAAAAGGGHHHH. Husband: *snickering* Me: *dying slowly and painfully here* Please, go away. Please. Please. Or you will force me to delete my file in embarrassment. Husband:Ha ha. Buttsecks. I'll then spend the next hour trying to cover my screen with my hands at the slightest sound, and cursing his general existence. I don't know WHY someone reading over my shoulder bothers me so much, but it completely takes me out of the zone and makes me utterly self-conscious. And once I'm rattled, I can't get the groove back. I usually give up for a while and then re-approach the computer later. Another thing that bothers me now? Music! I absolutely cannot have music playing when I write now. I used to love it, but now I get distracted all too easily, and my favorite song will sometimes make it into the manuscript inadvertently. My husband likes to listen to 70's and 80's metal very loudly as he works on the computer. I don't know how many times I've accidentally typed in "Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all,Or if he moves will he fall?" I only really notice what I'm doing when the hero sticks his little 'Iron Man' into the heroine. Whoopsie. Time for a rewrite. So, silence works best for me now. And let's not even get started on the internet. I don't know how many times I've sat down to write recently and been distracted by a LOLcat or a meme. The internet totally feeds my A.D.D. and I can find that I might sit down at the computer at 7pm, but by the time 10pm - and bedtime - rolls around, I've typed nothing but "HA HA U GUYS DID U SEE THIS?" in chat. Ideally, I think I would like to write in a bubble. Can we make that happen? Tell me that I'm not alone. Share the things that absolutely derail you as well. ETA-Apologies to Melissa, who commented and we had to delete because this post was goofing up the HTML. Sorry sorry!! |
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I'm right there with you on peering husbands and distracting music. I also handwrite first and then type it into the computer, revising a bit as I go.
Also, you said buttsecks. Alot...
We're a slutty bunch, aren't we?
Yeah, I hate the reading over my shoulder thing too, I'll admit... but my soon-to-be-wife used to be an editor at Three Rivers Press, so she knows enough to leave me alone in my writerly paranoia.
And I've got a sex scene coming up.. thing is, I don't write sex scenes, and it's a male first person one, so it definitely won't come off as too romancy.. I may have to summon the League into an emergency session!
Jill - I'm right there with you. Undoubtedly when someone does peek, I've just written something either completely filthy or just disgusting. Then the looks come.
Lucky for me I can shift right into disdain for humanity rather than embarassment. It's a helpful trait.
Anton - male first person sex? Are we talking you through a masturbation crisis? For Christ's sake the wedding night's coming up soon enough.
Srsly. Tricky scenes to right because you've got to remember that the majority of your readers are going to be women. Do they really want to know what we're thinking?
I swear, Jill, you could be me.
My husband looks over my shoulder? His comment usually is, "don't you think he should drop a load on her face in this one?"
Yeah, that kills the writing mood. Now, I know exactly how far I can quickly tip my laptop screen forward so that he can't read anything, but so that my computer doesn't shut down. Then I stare over my shoulder at him with my "you're about to experience ten years of celibacy, boyo" look.
I can't have music (except, sometimes, instrumental). The internet kills me (ha, look where I am now! I should be writing!)
Action scenes or exposition I can pen anywhere. Anything bordering on romance/sex/etc I need to be hidden in a dark room with the door locked or else I burst into flames of embarrassment.
Alchemuse - I would handwrite, but I'm left handed and incredibly impatient. So when I go back to type in what I've written...I can't read it. Oy. So it's all computer for me, baybee! As for the buttsecks thing, I'm trying to drive up traffic. Wink. Yeah. That's why.
Anton - I had to learn how to write a lot of sex into a novel and still keep it a novel (and keep it from being non-repetitive, but whatevs). You get used to it. Just watch the adjectives you use. I personally don't like 'c*nt' or 'p*ssy' or 'dripping' or 'filthy' or 'sloppy' used in a sex scene. It's all about the verbage.
Mark - the peeking thing has to be some kind of karmic justice. Invariably when I write something I hate or is kinky, my husband is right there chortling over my shoulder. Makes me want to die.
Meljean - I cried when I read your comment. GOD that sounds like my husband. And feel free to drop by anytime ;) We have a beanbag chair with your name on it!
tm - You think that's bad, try discussing it in a businesslike tone with your editor/agent. Oh, the shame. *g*
People peering over my shoulder bugs me to no end too. Also, people DO tend to pick the worst scene to try to peek at. You try writing a sex scene when your MOTHER is peering over your shoulder. I swear my head practically bursts into flame. Especially when she starts to try and give me tips. I have to shut the laptop and lock myself away somewhere. Far away.
Didn't see the update on your post and was totally wondering if I was on meds I didn't know about... phew!
I see how it is... and I oh so faithfully try to pimp you all. You ho's should learn how to behave!! :p
Anton- make sure your guy is somewhat in touch with his feminine side... I doubt your female readers want to hear 'And I got really hard when I saw her boobies.'
Melissa, it was totally by mistake. I felt really bad.
And I just spit coke all over my monitor at what you just said about Anton's book. So true, so true.
The other peeve of mine is making dudes sound like dudes. Any time a guy talks about fashions or his feelings, he's channeling a chick.
Pimped: http://tezmilleroz.livejournal.com http://blog.myspace.com/tezmilleroz http://tezmilleroz.blogspot.com